One day, as a young child, I glanced at the sunlight coming through the window at a certain angle, revealing massive amounts of dust particles in the air. My child-like mind was shocked. I assumed the atmosphere was pure and clean because that’s the way it looked to the naked eye. Even at my young age, I was uncomfortable with the thought of inhaling all those dust particles. I had a distinct feeling that even if it’s not affecting me now, it cannot be good for me.
The odd thing is that I sat there and contemplated it all. Probably not long, but enough for me to remember it today. It made me think about how many of these countless short, indiscriminate memories pile up over the years, shaping our subconscious lives and inevitably leading us to thoughts of Despair, Death, and Destruction.
There’s a Certain Slant of Light
There’s a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –
Heavenly Hurt, it gives us –
We can find no scar,
But internal difference,
Where the Meanings, are –
None may teach it – Any –
‘Tis the Seal Despair –
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air –
When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, ’tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –
Summary
There’s a particular angle of sunlight that comes through the window on winter afternoons and weighs down on me, much like the heaviness of hearing organ music in a big church.
It prompts a feeling of divine pain in people. This pain doesn’t leave any visible marks, but rather a sense of inner confusion about the very meaning of things.
No one can teach other people this feeling, nor does the feeling itself have anything to learn: it’s the mark of Despair itself, which is a punishment sent from the air, like an order sent by an emperor.
When this feeling comes, the landscape is so still it’s as if it’s listening, as if shadows are holding their breath; when this feeling lifts, one feels as distant as the look in the eyes of a corpse.
Certain Slant of Light
Vigilantes of Love
Gather up these weary bones
Another day to muster
Yeah, twisted wreckage, spent
Held in strictest confidence
Lamp burning in the sitting room
Empty house pouring salt in my wounds
Close the door and throw the bolt
And await the results
There’s a certain slant of light
And the hope that’s in your eyes
And I hardly realize
As I slip
Beneath those waves
Yeah, this rain seems to last and last
Heavy heart yearning, gray sky overcast
In this womb for a while
I collapse like a small child
Let the doubts all perish at sea
You’ve got to learn to dream all over again
How long? It’s hard to tell
In the belly of your whale
There’s a certain slant of light
And the hope that’s in your eyes
And I hardly realize
As I slip
Beneath those waves
Tell me your deep, dark secret
Yeah, and I will tell you mine
Oh, is that your deep, dark secret?
Oh well, never mind
There’s a certain slant of light
And the hope that’s in your eyes
And I hardly realize
As I slip
Beneath those waves
As I slip
Beneath those waves
As I slip
Beneath those waves
As I slip
Beneath those waves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w74bWeqUtrk